WERE YOU BORN IN A TENT

Wednesday 12 February 2014

MIDDLE FISH
122-128 Berkeley St, Carlton

Visited: 30th January 2014

Design: I felt like I was entering an underwater cave coming through this doorway. You are enticed in by the rustic recycled white timbers, the retro plants, and the dark cavernous hole of the large interior inside. The combination of the white walls on the exterior, the roller door and the timber work well together. Once in the doorway you go through more treated pine that looks as though it has had a green wash put over it. The recessed door adds to the mystery surrounding the entry. Specials are displayed on the actual wooden door made from ply and welded steel. Every time I have visited this place one of the two doors have been open so I haven't had the chance to physically use this door to asses its workings. I can say from the interior looking back on the entry, the wooden box of the exterior folds back in on itself. Solid, robust, bunker-like you feel secure behind this construction, like nothing could penetrate its structure.

Door resistance: ?

Closure mechanism: Manual

Draft: Maximum

Squeak level: ?

Change return time: 31 sec

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PROFESSIONAL DOOR REVIEWER

Searching the world for the perfect door to eat behind.

First impressions are always important, especially for a restaurant or cafe. So many people are focusing on the food these days that I felt there was a hole in the reviews world. No one was looking at the most important thing, THE DOOR! Everyone complains when it is left open, death stares are exchange when the unsuspecting group of friends having a fun night enter the premises from the cold only to walk straight in and go straight to their table totally oblivious they have left the door wide open to allow an arctic strength gale force wind to cut through the previously warm interior. Like a scene from a western film where everyone in the premises stops what they are doing and cuts down the new comers with a deathly stare. Occasionally you will get the confident diner who gets up, walks across the restaurant and closes the door with a BANG! Just to let the new comers know they have done wrong and to NEVER, EVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!! This individual makes their way back to the table staring at the newcomers, just to make sure they got the message. The only problem is, is that 5 minutes later another group come in and do the same thing and he/she feels obliged to continually do this for the rest of the night.

Well hopefully this blog puts a light on the owners of these establishments and encourages them to lift their game and create doors that allow diners to sit and enjoy their meal, to give the diner an experience before they enter the building. It is also a thank you to the makers of quality doors who care about craftsmanship.

I have developed a scoring system based on,

DESIGN:

This is assessed by the materials the door is made from, whether the door is themed, cluttered or minimal and whether there is an element of surprise or not.

DOOR RESISTANCE: 1 to 5

1 = light push

5 = heavy push

CLOSURE MECHANISM: Manual, automatic or

hydraulic arm

DRAFT: Minimal, medium or high

SQUEAK LEVEL: 0 up to 5

0 = No squeak

5 = Ear piercing

Then the last assessment is the,

CHANGE RETURN TIME:

This is the amount of time it takes to get my change once I have given the waiter the money for the bill. Last impressions are always just as important as first.