WERE YOU BORN IN A TENT

Saturday, 24 August 2013

MISS JACKSON

2/19 Grey St, St Kilda

Visited: 21st August 2013

Design: I'm sorry Miss Jackson, I am for real. I found this door to be almost like a modernist painting or a Rothko with its simple bands of natural timber, black across the base and the L shaped stainless steel panel around the window trim. The central glass panel sat beautifully within the door, allowing a glimpse inside yet not revealing too much. There was a medium resistance on the open swing with a gentle return on the close. This door deserves to be somewhere more refined. Please don't take my words as criticism for the business itself. My criticism is for the building it is surrounded by, cement, black timber framing above the door and red brick. I feel for this door, it makes me sad to see such a beautiful door in this environment. Like a French model forced to live amongst poverty and squalor and uncultured peers, it sits there day after day performing its duty yet never given an opportunity to fully shine or to express its full potential. All I can say is render, please render and allow this door to be the door it was created to be.

Door resistance: 3

Closure mechanism: Hydraulic arm

Draft: Minimal

Squeak level: 0

Change return time: 15 sec

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PROFESSIONAL DOOR REVIEWER

Searching the world for the perfect door to eat behind.

First impressions are always important, especially for a restaurant or cafe. So many people are focusing on the food these days that I felt there was a hole in the reviews world. No one was looking at the most important thing, THE DOOR! Everyone complains when it is left open, death stares are exchange when the unsuspecting group of friends having a fun night enter the premises from the cold only to walk straight in and go straight to their table totally oblivious they have left the door wide open to allow an arctic strength gale force wind to cut through the previously warm interior. Like a scene from a western film where everyone in the premises stops what they are doing and cuts down the new comers with a deathly stare. Occasionally you will get the confident diner who gets up, walks across the restaurant and closes the door with a BANG! Just to let the new comers know they have done wrong and to NEVER, EVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!! This individual makes their way back to the table staring at the newcomers, just to make sure they got the message. The only problem is, is that 5 minutes later another group come in and do the same thing and he/she feels obliged to continually do this for the rest of the night.

Well hopefully this blog puts a light on the owners of these establishments and encourages them to lift their game and create doors that allow diners to sit and enjoy their meal, to give the diner an experience before they enter the building. It is also a thank you to the makers of quality doors who care about craftsmanship.

I have developed a scoring system based on,

DESIGN:

This is assessed by the materials the door is made from, whether the door is themed, cluttered or minimal and whether there is an element of surprise or not.

DOOR RESISTANCE: 1 to 5

1 = light push

5 = heavy push

CLOSURE MECHANISM: Manual, automatic or

hydraulic arm

DRAFT: Minimal, medium or high

SQUEAK LEVEL: 0 up to 5

0 = No squeak

5 = Ear piercing

Then the last assessment is the,

CHANGE RETURN TIME:

This is the amount of time it takes to get my change once I have given the waiter the money for the bill. Last impressions are always just as important as first.